Some years ago I had a flashback memory that upset me deeply. There was a boy in my primary school class from a very poor family. He had no friends. One Friday we were allowed to bring a toy to school, and I brought an extra toy car and gave it to him. I still remember the delight in his eyes when I gave it to him and the way he had his head down on the desk looking at it as he pushed it up and down.
He was playing with it when my friend who sat next to me told me I should have given that car to him. ‘He’s got a book,’ my friend said, pointing to a very dog-eared publication on his desk. So, under the weight of peer pressure, I took the toy car back and gave it to my friend.
My mind must have suppressed that memory because I felt so bad about it, and 40 years later, when I had the flashback, all I could see was the pain in that kid’s eyes, and I knew I couldn’t go back and change it.
It speaks to me of a deep spiritual reality: that left unconfessed the consequences of how we treat people in this life are things we’ll carry into eternity.

This entry was posted in Flashbacks, Guilt, Regret, Remembering the past. Bookmark the permalink.

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